So, I have been technically “natural” (free from chemical strengtheners) for 4 plus years. I got my last relaxer 4 years ago and it was only on a small front portion of my hair. This was because I loved wearing sew-in extensions and would leave a part of my own natural hair out to blend, but I didn’t want the curls because it would take longer to straighten and blend.
For the past 4 years I
was technically “natural” but I straightened my hair almost every other day! I
never liked to wear my hair curly because I thought it looked messy, frizzy and
nappy. I am half Filipino and half African-American and my hair is very curly
and silky and as I see it now, very beautiful but I COULD NOT see that prior to
recently. My entire life, literally, many people would try to encourage me to
wear my hair curly and tell me how beautiful my curls were and I refused! One
teacher told me “Ashley, do you realize how much money some people pay to have
those curls” and my response would be, “well they can have them”. I liked my
hair straight because it looked neat, presentable and normal; all the things
our society deems appropriate. I straightened my hair so much that my curls
were just as damaged as someone who chemically relaxed their hair.
The reason I started
wearing my hair natural was not even because I felt inclined to embrace my hair
or any of the self-empowering explanations, it was because I was accepted to a
medical school in the Caribbean and I knew that straightening my hair would be
pointless in that hot and humid weather. So, in August 2015, I decided I was no
longer going to straighten my hair regularly.
My initials feelings
when I started wearing my hair natural were embarrassment, frustration, and
very impatient. I hated my natural hair even still! My curls were so badly heat
damaged that they looked like stringy ramen noodles (primarily the front part
of my hair) and that’s the first part everyone sees! I felt so discouraged and
wanted to give up sooooo many times. It took about 4-5 months in order for my
curls to be at a point where I liked, not loved them. I tried product after
product which promised curl reformation and all other things. I watched YouTube
videos, I read hair blogs, I followed curly hair girls on Instagram and
honestly none of it really truly worked as much as me just being patient and
getting to know MY hair more and let me tell you why!
- While YouTube and Instagram are great resources for those who need information, inspiration and are just getting started, it can truly give you a false depiction of your hair while also giving you false hope. So much of the YouTube videos I watched or Instagram accounts I followed were done so in envy of the girl on the other side of the screen. I wanted my curls just like hers and I wanted them now, until I realized, I cannot look to others for how my hair will look.
- I think YouTube is a great starting point to get anyone started in what to expect, how to take care of natural hair, how to do protective styles and styles that will help train you curls (twist outs, braid outs, flat twists, Bantu knots, etc.) but I believe at some point, it can become discouraging. My advice would be to use YouTube as a way to learn but not a way to envy! I encourage any transitioning girls, naturals or even girls thinking to go natural to use YouTube wisely and more importantly, learn your curl pattern and strive for YOUR good hair days and try to replicate those, not necessarily the curls you see on the big scree
- Another thing which I fell victim to was buying products that were popular, commonly used by natural hair bloggers and vloggers (video blogging) and/or products others suggested because they worked liked magic for them. I am not saying it is bad to take suggestions and recommendations because honestly trials and error is good, how else will you know what works or not, but I would recommend that you don’t go through this trial and error process blindly. Do not expect what works for someone else to automatically work for you. You can get caught up in buying all the popular expensive products some people recommend without realizing it may not be helpful for your curl pattern. I STRONGLY encourage you to learn what each ingredient, or at least the most potent ingredients do for your hair. Do not just buy products blindly. Research what you are putting in your hair because you can honestly be wasting your time. Read more about how neglecting to research a product caused me to essentially waste 2 months of progress and lots of money on my post “The Secret Behind Silicones” in my All Things Hair tab.
So if you’re thinking
about transitioning, currently transitioning or already natural, hopefully my
story and these few tips are helpful to you in some way! While my initial
reason for going natural was because of a climate change, I fell in love with
my hair, embraced the meaning behind accepting yourself for who you are and in
the process have shown my daughter the importance of loving your natural
beauty; it doesn’t get any better than that!
As
always, comment, subscribe, and share!
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